Valentine’s (Expectations) Day

So, Valentine’s Day is upon us. My husband and I have never celebrated this retail, gimme-gimme, woman’s holiday. I have to say that I actually feel sorry for the guys. I mean have you seen them in a panic at the grocery store on the way home on Valentine’s Day? I refuse to take part in one day of raised prices as if it says “I love you” more. I told my husband at the beginning, don’t you dare buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day! We can do so much more with that money and the memory won’t die like the roses. I have to admit I do get the kids a small heart of chocolate and a small stuffed animal on that morning, but it is just so cute to see their faces with just a tiny little something.  They are so grateful.

It’s like V-Day is a  competition on whose husband is better by how big the bouquet is and how far ahead he reserved the restaurant. Or what about those that will wait over an hour or two in line to eat dinner that night? No thanks!

I have a funny story. My husband’s and my first date happened to be on Valentine’s day at the Rodeo. I didn’t even realize it was the 14th until we went to eat afterward and couldn’t find anywhere without a long wait. We ended up at Chili’s where there was little wait time (because you better not take your wife there for Valentine’s or you ain’t getting any that night!) So, we still didn’t realize it until we got dessert and the waitress asked if we wanted to share one. We looked at her weird and she actually said, “Oh you aren’t Valentine’s”. I laughed and said we didn’t even know it was Valentine’s Day! All I know is that I had an awesome day and it had nothing to do with chocolate, flowers or jewelry. Plus we didn’t care that both of us probably smelled of horse poo!

We ended up getting married a year from when we met, which was February 7, 2010. We married on February 7, 2011. We do celebrate our anniversary, but that is about both of us equally. We wouldn’t have to spend anything but time together for it to be a celebration.

My daughter told me last night that in China, I believe, the girls/woman make fancy chocolates and give them to their crushes. The boys/men don’t do anything. I love the fact that they spend time actually making something. What if we did that? What if we didn’t give in to the retail craziness and made something with our own two hands. Wouldn’t that mean so much more? I mean we love it when the kids do that! Or make Valentine’s about cooking together, taking a class together or doing anything “together”. This would definitely be more minimalistic and equal since it is about love, right?

So give your guy a break and tell him he doesn’t need to buy you a thing (he will probably think it is a trick) If you don’t do it this year, have a conversation about it for next year. Dare to make it about the both of you, not what you “get”.